my misplaced sense of importance

you know i feel it all the time, but i don’t really know how to describe it. i guess i could try though. i don’t think there’s much of a difference between being surrounded by people that you actually care about, by people that you don’t care about or being completely isolated and alone inside an empty room in front of a small rectangular screen that spits out information to you. so when you feel it, you really feel it. sometimes it comes crashing like a wave of nostalgic memories that i may have missed out on because i was simply too busy and now i think a lot of what we feel comes from a misplaced sense of importance. maybe it’s not even about being around people or being alone. maybe it’s more complex. maybe it’s something that we’ve tried to bury inside of ourselves, praying to never have to dig it back up. you feel it clawing and gnawing its way out. i think the best way to deal with those types of things is head on. don’t fear the things in your past, every secret eventually makes itself known. if not to the world, then to the universe, who has known all along. i think it’s about understanding. how often do we really, truly open up? maybe we’ve been hurt before and that’s why it’s hard for you to be like that for people.

whenever i feel lonely i like to go on drives and listen to my favorite songs. there’s something so peaceful about letting the music run its course through the speakers of your car. there’s something contentful about just letting life happen, but you have to be careful because you can’t let life happen all of the time, sometimes you have to happen to live. i find myself feeling a lot better after i’ve had realistic pep talks with myself. it can’t always be sunny weather and clear skies, a little bit of rain can go a long way. sometimes it rains for weeks, and that’s okay. grab yourself an umbrella and realize that it’s important to be prepared. happiness is not permanent, sadness is not permanent, and loneliness sure as hell isn’t permanent. i don’t know you, reading this, but hopefully, you know yourself better than i do. you have to sit down and really ask yourself what is wrong? i can only do so much with a few words on a screen. you have to have the patience for yourself. it takes time to find out where you need to be to build to feel whole. maybe loneliness is felt because you’re missing out, or think you’re missing out, on life or something else. maybe you’re missing someone. maybe you missed out an opportunity to turn your life around. maybe you didn’t get his number. maybe you didn’t get a chance to talk to him one last time. maybe it ended badly and you never got over it. maybe you’re afraid to accept the truth. it only matters about now.

sometimes you have to be your only friend, drag yourself out into the sun, take yourself out for that new movie, write yourself a healthy poem, write down all of your happy spots and visit them all in one day. the secret to life is different for everyone, the cure to loneliness can also be a pain to find. i think i’m still looking, but sometimes when i see his smile, i feel less alone but maybe that’s what we all need. a true connection. maybe to yourself. maybe to others. maybe to nature. you have to keep looking until you find it. there’s always a better way to go about things when you don’t feel up for the task. on my most fulfilled days, i had to balance between being surrounded by people that i love and doing things that i love and doing things that really made me smile. how long has it been since you’ve done that?

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