still young

drop out of college. refuse to work an unfulfilling job and move to a different city every time the world starts to catch up with you. defer your loan payments.

tell whoever to get over themselves.

show up out of the blue at your best friend’s doorstep when things start to get rough. cry to her in the living room about how you messed everything up.

dance on bar tabletops in your underwear for money.

go home with a boy you meet in on tinder. go to second base with him while listening to his roommate’s snore. never talk to him again.

overdraw your bank account for a hotdog and chili. call your parents and ask them to send you some money and pretend you feel guilty about it, but really, it was the best damn hotdog in your life.

remind yourself throughout your days that your imagination is too wild to keep up with the mediocracy of other peoples’ brains to help cope with the idea of possibly being insane.

dance by yourself in the living room when everyone is at work and pretend you are a pop star when you are having a bad day. leave the blinds open so the neighbors can see you.

go out to bars and make new friends. introduce them to your old ones. try to ignore the fact that you do not even remotely feel cool enough to talk to them.

run to new york. or chicago. or los angeles. or peurto rico, for crying out loud.

sleep on the floor of your other best friend’s apartment after a long night. pull the comforter over your head and warm up with the cats, even though you are allergic when the heat goes out at night. drink cheap wine and talk about how you wish you had been born in the 70s.

take an hour subway ride from mount vernon to the bronx at 11 at night because you refuse to leave until you know where your parents are from.

go to parties. wake up your roommate the next day by coming home too late. apologize by cleaning the apartment and attempting to make her dinner. apologize again for pretending to know how to cook and take her out to a real meal. share an innocent kiss with her while drunk at 3am.

walk in central park when the leaves start to change and pretend you are in a woody allen movie.

get a new serving job every week because you are always late and always get fired. lie on your resume.

go see wicked by yourself.

eat leftover chinese food for breakfast and a five dollar footlong for dinner.

walk around downtown at night while listening to your new favorite playlist. wonder about the boy you used to love and what he has been up to. think about calling him and change your mind.

make an obligatory visit to the town where you grew up to see your family. run into old high school classmates at coffee shops and try not to kill yourself. make awkward small talk and find solace in the fact that you are no longer stuck to the small town and its ideals.

meet up with your childhood best friend and go out to gay bars, because you said you always wanted to go when you were old enough. sit on her back porch the next day and laugh about the night before. let her paint your body, because it was a trend but also because she is majoring in art at UNCSA.

drink your mother’s cheap, dry wine and steal her expensive vodka when you get bored. sit in the living room with her and listen to queen records while she shows you her jewelry. beg her to leave you her favorite ring.

visit your old elementary school and be grateful that you made it through those years and came out on top.

get high and play mini golf.

go to the ghetto just to get cheesy instagram pictures in front of a painted wall.

play chess with your first boyfriend and laugh when you realize he is just a natural born prodigy.

talk politics with your father, even if you do not agree. scold yourself for always being so melodramatic.

run home when the world feels like it is crashing down on you, wherever you feel that may be.

jump up and down and wrap your arms around old friends when you see them in public.

go to open mic nights and listen to people sing with amazing voices who will never be famous.

go to places where you still know the bartender so you can get free drinks. drink lots of beer.

drive on the back roads at night with your top down and scream for no reason like you did when you first got that car because you were free.

sleep with that guy because he still lives here and he was one of your favorites. shrug it off when everyone calls you a whore.

convince your friends to eat your weird food combos and go out every sunday night for wings.

order the messiest thing on the menu on the first date.

have sex in a park and get paranoid about getting caught.

cry when your best friend gets engaged. cry again when she walks down the aisle.

give someone advice and tell them everything will be okay even when you are not so sure. try and keep your mind calm as you ponder your next move. think about all of the places that you have yet to travel. tell yourself that you are still young because you are.

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